


The Sam Series

by ElderberryWine



Category: Lord of the Rings - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Not part of any larger series.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-31
Updated: 2010-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-06 22:09:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElderberryWine/pseuds/ElderberryWine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mini-series, as Sam looks past Rivendell and adjusts his role in the Fellowship.  As canon as I could make it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Confessional

I tried, Mr. Frodo, I truly did. And Mr. Gandalf, and that Elf, Mr. Gildor, both of them now, they told me to watch for you, but I've failed you all. The other Elf, that knew Srider, Mr. Glorfindel, he put you on that great white horse as those devils came down on us again, and cried something to it, and you were gone, with those black horrors at your back. How he expects you to stay on that great beast, sick as you are, I'll never know. We're following you as fast as ever we can, Mr. Frodo, but I'm so afraid I'll never see you again. Oh, keep him, Lady, please keep him.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

Once, I could keep you. In the Shire, I knew what to do. There you were like the finest lily as needs only a bit of tending and grows as beautiful as anything ever can. Just maybe an eye on the pantry or a helpful arm home from the Green Dragon on occasion (and that worked both ways, as well you know, Mr. Frodo). Maybe some company of an evening when you wanted to share the poem you'd just worked out. Maybe some company in the garden when you would come out to try the latest bit of translation on me. But it were never that much that I did, just be there.

So when Mr. Gandalf caught me at the window (oh, I felt badly on that, but I just had to know, Mr. Frodo) and told me I'd be going with you, I was mostly thinking of the food and pans and such. Of course, I was glad and excited about seeing some of those places and folk out of the tales you and Mr. Bilbo used to tell, but mostly I was thinking about such supplies as we might need on the way, and how there likely might not be many good inns on the road we'd be taking.

Then Mr. Gandalf called me aside, right before he left in a great rush that day, and looking right directly at me from under that big hat of his, he said to me, "Samwise Gamgee, you take good care of Frodo, now."

It always made me right nervous when he looked at me like that, but I answered quick as ever. "Of course I will, Mr. Gandalf, I always do."

"Hmmm," he says, and keeps staring at me. "He'll be needing you in ways he's never needed you before, Sam. You stick with him, now."

Well, wizard or no, this advise seemed pretty pointless to me. "As if I ever wouldn't, beggin' your pardon, Mr. Gandalf," I answered him, a trifle sharp.

He gave a little smile at that. "I thought not," he says softly, and that was all he said.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

Then there was that night, while we were still in the Shire, that you and me and Mr. Pippin saw the Elves. I had never though I'd live to see such fair folk, and I was that scared and that happy, I didn't know which I was feelin'. But you spoke up to them in their own tongue, and then they were so kindly to us and well-spoken, it was a wonder to see. That night, with the food, and drink, and singing, why I don't have the words to say what it meant to me. It was as if we had fallen into Mr. Bilbo's books, and if we could have stayed there forever, I would have been that happy. As long as I could go see the gaffer on occasion, of course.

But like I told you the next day, Mr. Gildor pulls me aside just before the singing had ended that night and says the same thing to me as did Mr. Gandalf, "Don't you leave him."

Well, I said the same to him as I did to Mr. Gandalf, "Leave him? I don't mean to. I'm going with him if he climbs to the Moon, and if any of those Black Riders try to stop him, they'll have Sam Gamgee to reckon with."

He laughed at that and went on, but like I told you the next day, that got me to thinking. I knew then that there was something I was going to have to do, and it was more than just carryin' a pack and fixing the meals. But how could I know, Mr. Frodo, how could I know? I still hadn't seen those Riders myself yet, just heard tell o'them from you and my gaffer.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

But then I almost let Willow grab you in the Old Forest, and I lost you on the Downs, and by the time we got to Bree, I was feelin' I wasn't much use to you at all. I didn't give you a warning in time about that song, as I should have, and then I had Strider pegged all wrong, and should of kept my mouth shut and left it up to you. Then when Strider showed us the room the next morning, and I saw how those Riders would have murdered us in our beds if they could, I was so frightened I didn't know what to think. How can I protect you from those great Men with swords, when the most as I've ever done is pop a coney off with a stone? Even Bill was of more use than me, because he can carry more. It seemed that even Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin were upset by what we saw, but you kept a cool head, and planned our route with Strider, as if you'd run into this sort of trouble before.

I kept my head down when we left Bree, and stayed back with Bill.

But maybe I figured out a bit of what old Mr. Gandalf was speakin' of that night two nights out of Bree.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

It had been a long hard road that day, trying to keep up with those lanky legs of Strider, with that fear always at our backs, and us not able to take the common road. We had to climb those trails that weren't made for the likes of hobbits, and I knew both you and Strider were worried that Mr. Gandalf hadn't shown up. At least Bill was starting to perk up a bit.

It was late that night when we stopped, already dark, and cold food and no fire don't make for a pleasant evening. I remember us all sitting around wrapped tight in our cloaks, not talkin' much. Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin were that tired that they didn't even complain about the lack of a decent dinner, and nodded right off where they sat. Strider had gone off to scout ahead. But you seemed restless, Mr. Frodo, as if after walkin' all day you still couldn't sit still. It was the most fretful I'd seen you since we left the Shire, so I was watchin' you close.

"Sam," you said, "come walk with me a bit. I need to think."

"Of course, Mr. Frodo," I answered quick as anything. "Just let me make sure Bill's tied down right." But he seemed right enough, chewing on some bits of grass. (And it just amazed me how he was fillin' out on the grass along the way and the pieces of apple that we could spare. That Bill Ferny has no right to any animal, I'd say.)

You left the clearing, with me behind, but the Moon had risen bright that night, and we could see round us well enough. We walked under a grove of beech already losing their leaves in this northern land. Their trunks were smooth and shiny in the moonlight, and you stopped and rested against one, and picking a small branch off the ground, began to play with it with no mind to what you were doing. Suddenly I was minded of when you first came to Bag End, when I was a lad.

For all you seemed so grown up to me then, I know now you were no more than barely a tweenager, and no-one around to talk to. So when there was something on your mind, you'd come out in the garden and find me and talk to me, playing with something in your hands just like this, until you got it worked out in your head. Me, I had nothing to say that was of any use, but it made me feel so grand that you seemed to think I was of any help. And here we were, all those years later, and me still with no words that'd be any good.

"Don't wizards always keep their word, Sam?" you asked softly, still staring down at the stick. "He said he'd be back to the Shire by my birthday, and he wasn't, and then he wasn't even at Bree."

"Mr. Gandalf would have come if he could," I answered, and then thought that was not going to make you feel any better. "I'm sure he'll be waiting for us at Rivendell," I added hastily, "and Mr. Bilbo and all those Elves will be there too. They'll all help you sort it out, I'm sure."

"It's still a long way to Rivendell," I almost couldn't hear you and you hadn't looked at me once. Then suddenly you looked right at me, your eyes dark in the moonlight, and cried out in a voice that was full of fear such as I'd never heard in your voice before, " 'Baggins', they said, 'Shire'. Sam, they know my name!"

Well, that clinched it. I never stopped to think of what my gaffer would have said my place was, but in a moment I had my arms around you and you were trying to hold back your cries, and all I could do was hold you tight and make what hushing noises as I could. "Then they might as well know our names too," I murmured to you with what voice I could manage, "because we're right here with you." I could still feel you trembling all over, just like those beeches in a breeze. "You ain't alone. Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin, they're here not just because they're your cousins, they're your friends too, and they'll stick by you through anything. And that Mr. Strider, too, I was all wrong about him, he'll be right with you too."

"And you, Sam, what about you?" You lifted your head up and looked right through me, and I all of a sudden knew I was making a vow that I thought nothing could ever break, and I had to tell you what my heart told me then.

"I am with you, Frodo," I whispered, holding your hands tightly, "I'll be with you until all the stars fall from the skies. I'll always keep you safe."

And oh your smile then. It will be set in my heart forever.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

But when those devils did come for you, on Weathertop, that's when it all fell apart. I did naught for you, as I should have. I was that scared when those black shapes surrounded us, I had no sense in me at all. I watched your hand move to the Ring, and I knew it was no good, I knew I should have tried to stop you, but I was frozen like a great stone. And then you were gone and suddenly I could move again, but it was too late. I didn't do naught to protect you when you needed me.

Gandalf warned me, and Gildor too, and I knew they were coming for you, but I failed you, Mr. Frodo. And I broke my own promise to you, and I'll never forgive myself for that. And if we come to Rivendell, and I find you safe again, I promise you that I'll never break my word to you, not if it breaks every bone in my body and my heart besides, not ever again. You have Sam Gamgee's word on that.


	2. Endings and Beginnings

So here we are again, Mr. Frodo. Heading off to where a hobbit has no business going. Course, I'm keeping my mouth shut and hopin' to be more help this time round. These great Men, and an Elf and a Dwarf besides, are making me more than a little nervous, even more than old Mr. Gandalf does, and that's sayin' a lot. So I'll just be bidin' back with Bill, but I'm watching them all, Mr. Frodo, never you fear.

I see that Strider (and if he's a king then I'm Ted Sandyman's uncle, which I ain't), and I see him talking to Mr. Gandalf, and the both of them giving us hobbits a worrisome eye. They don't think we're going fast enough, I wager. Then that Elf and Dwarf, they don't seem to get along noways. And that Mr. Boromir, now, he's the strangest of all, I reckon. Looks more like a king than Strider does, but there's something in the way he looks at you at times as is keeping me wary. He seems to think as he should be the one carrying that piece of trouble, even if nobody else does. At least Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin seem to be behaving themselves. So far. Thank the Valar for small favors, I say.

I never could have thought that this great Elf home could of started to feel homely, but it did, almost. I began to think if that Mr. Elrond would've given me a bit of dirt of my own to mess around with, and a chance to go back and see the gaffer and all on a reg'lar basis, why, I might have been that happy to stay here, if you wanted to. But in the end, I reckon that all this grandness doesn't really suit us hobbits, and the Shire is the right size for us. But that's not where we're headed. Leastways, not for any time soon.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

I never thought I'd find my way around this great place when we first got here. Course, I wasn't looking' around the place much those first few days. I didn't give a single care as to whether I made that great Elf Lord mad or not, no, not even if I upset Mr. Gandalf in the bargain. I'd already failed you the once by not being brave enough, and I wasn't about to ever let that happen again, now that I'd been given a second chance.

So when they led all of us into the room where you lay, so small and pale on that enormous bed, I planted myself nearby, out of the way, but where I might be handy-like. They wouldn't be shooing Sam Gamgee out of this room, not until I saw you open your eyes and tell me that you were all right.

But that didn't look as if it was going to happen anytime soon, not in those first terrible days. Both Mr. Elrond and Mr. Gandalf were fussing over you with frowns and worrisome looks on their faces, and my stomach was that tight and heavy as a stone. I couldn't eat, no, not one thing, and you know it has to be pretty bad to put a hobbit like me off his feed. It was. Those were the worst days of my life. For if these great folk couldn't help you, who could? And I began to understand from their talking that there were worse things than you dying, and the thought of that made my heart hurt me something fierce.

That's why, one day when they had left us alone, I thought to sit beside you on the bed and hold your hand. I was thinking that mayhap if you knew there was someone with you, it would help you find your way back. Your hand was cold, so bitter cold, but I held it tight anyways. There was the scent of pine coming through the windows, as well as others I could put no name to, but my heart was in the Shire and our garden at Bag End. I've never had no fine words to say, so I spoke of what I knew, of readying the garden for the winter, and packing up the potatoes and apples in the keeping room, and of how plump those squirrels in the old oak tree had been looking when we had left, promising a right frosty winter. 'Tis silly to be thinking of such in a place so far away, but I did hope that you could hear me, and knew what I was really trying to tell you. That's where they found me that evening, for I had fallen asleep where I sat, but strangely enough, they didn't seem to be that angry at my foolishness. Why Mr. Gandalf gave me a little smile and a nod as if to say, "See, Sam Gamgee? I told you he'd be needin' of you."

Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin popped their heads in at least four times a day, and if they thought it strange that I'd be sittin' here on the bed next to you, holding your hand and talking to myself, they very kindly kept it to themselves. Mr. Bilbo, of course, he was here through most all the day, but he did nod off so. It was mighty hard for me to believe when I first saw him, but he was finally looking all his years.

They kept trying to shoo me off, but it was the third day what did it. When that Mr. Elrond came at me the third time telling me I should go and get a bite and a bit of rest, I thought it hard to say no, one more time. And that's how I missed it. I should of been there but I wasn't. So when I got back, your eyes were open and you were laughing and chatting with Mr. Gandalf, and I missed your eyes opening; but you know, that really don't matter, not really.

That didn't stop me one minute from grabbin' your hand though, right in sight of all those Big Folk, cause I just had to be sure. And it was warm, just as warm as anything, and you held my hand just as tight as I held yours. And your smile was that beautiful, as beautiful as the most glorious sunrise I'd ever seen, and I almost burst into tears like a great silly baby, but I didn't. Leastways, not til later, when I could find a quiet corner and let the tears come.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

The next few days were that full of bustle and such, I don't rightly remember much o'them. Mr. Gandalf and all those great Elves were having important talks with you in your room, not for the likes of my ears, and Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin too were spending more time with you now that you were more lively-like. I kept myself out of the way, having naught to do as mattered, but it was a glorious day when you could finally leave your room and go sit with Mr. Bilbo in the Great Hall for meals. I hadn't been there of a night before, for the singing and poems and the story-telling, and it could fair take your breath away, it was just that splendid. I sat close by to listen, so as to be handy if you needed something.

I had found Bill in the stables too, and it was a fair treat to see how plump he was getting' to be. I wondered if he felt as lost in that stable with all those great proud Elf horses, as I did sometimes in the Great Hall, but when I mentioned it to him, he just stamped his hoof and snorted as if to say not a bit of it. He was good company to me, Bill was.

I had started to take him about for walks in the mornings, whilst you were in those meetings with the Big People. He got to stretch his legs for a bit, and I had somewhat to do. But you had noticed me gone of a morning, and asked me why. So the next day, when I was ready to take him out, there you were too.

 

We went up that path as goes up behind the Great Hall, do you remember, Mr. Frodo? I had found a pretty little dell up there with plenty of sun where the grass was still growin' thick and green. Bill always did prefer what was growin' on the ground to what they collected for him to eat. I was a little worried about the steep path, but you laughed and said the walk would do you good, and I reckoned that Bill could help out, if needs be.

It was a fine and clear morning, as was every morning I remember there. You know that a place is enchanted when the rain only seems to fall o'night. I don't know how they managed it, but those Elves are always a wonder to me. I let Bill wander on his own to find his breakfast (and how that pony can eat fair amazes me) and we sat back on the grass in the sun with our backs against a warm rock ledge.

Ah, it felt good to have a bit of quiet time with just of the two of us, as we had so many days at Bag End, even when we had naught to really say. You had brought your pipe, and the smell of Old Toby surely was fine under those pines. I was thinking' that I was glad I had brought enough for both of us for elevensies, as well as an apple for Bill, and was just starting to doze off when you spoke up.

"They tell me you were with me the whole time I was asleep, Sam," you said, watching a smoke ring sail up into the air.

"Ah, well," I felt a bit daft admitting it, "it's not as if I didn't think Mr. Elrond and his lot weren't doin' a fine enough job. I just thought I might be summat of a help if I stayed."

"I remember someone talking to me," you continued, givin' me a glance. "I don't remember the words themselves, but I do know it was all of the Shire. That had to be you, Sam."

"Aye," I could feel my face reddening now, "I don't reckon that would have been Mr. Elrond."

"Not likely," you chuckled, still watchin' me. "What I mean to say, Sam, was that helped me more than I can tell you."

Well, I didn't know what to say to that, so I stared at the spruce tree on the ridge as if I'd never seen one before and tried to keep from getting' too red about the face.

"It was your voice I kept trying to get back to," you spoke softly. "I might have never been able to get back if it hadn't have been for you."

It was a good thing Bill picked that moment to come up and nose about for his apple. All it was, was talkin', Mr. Frodo, and it weren't really all that much, but I didn't feel it was right to say that to you.

"Well then," I got up to get the apple out of my pocket, and the question that had been in my head for the past days popped out of my mouth. "Do you know when we might be startin' back for the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It might do well to start before winter sets in hard."

There was no answer then, and I took a quick look at you. You were frowning at the pipe in your hands as if the next bit wasn't goin' to be good news, and I felt my heart drop.

"I don't know if I can go back to the Shire, Sam," you said quietly and I never expected that. You looked up, and my face must of said as much, since you went on slowly, "Even if I gave up the Ring now, the Dark Lord's messengers are still searching for me. I would put the Shire in great danger if I returned. Even here, I am not sure that I do not place Elrond and his folk at risk. There is to be a council meeting soon, Sam. Elrond is waiting for others to arrive here. But I know it will be a long while before it will be safe for me to return to the Shire."

Well, that piece of news was a blow and no mistake. Here I was, just thinking' of goin' this far, with no mind to what would come after. But I never was much of a planner, save as for that which grows.

"Don't worry though, Sam," you went on, lookin' back down to your pipe. "I'm sure Elrond will give you and Merry and Pippin a safe escort so you can return before the snows fall."

"What, and leave you be with all these Big People to shift for yourself?" I was that amazed that the thought would come to you of us leaving you all alone here. I was starin' at you dumbfounded, but you weren't looking' at me noways.

"You have family, Sam" you went on, so soft I could hardly hear you, "as does Merry and Pippin. I don't, except Bilbo, who's here too. I can't take you from them."

Well, the very idea. "Mr. Frodo," I couldn't help my voice shakin' just a bit, "I know as I didn't give you the help as I should have the last time, but I do feel it's hard that you won't give me another chance."

"Oh, no, Sam," you cried out looking as startled as could be, your eyes opening wide at that. "It isn't that at all!"

'Didn't I tell you I'd be with you and keep you safe?" I cried, my heart breaking at the thought of being sent away. "I promise you, Mr. Frodo, I won't be so slow this time. I'll help you, really I will. Please don't send me off!"

"You can't possibly blame yourself for me putting on that Ring not once, but twice, after Gandalf warned me against it," you sprang to your feet at that. "Now, Sam, no one could have helped me more than you have. Just knowing you're there…," and you broke off at that, shaking your head and turning away from me.

"No, that's not it at all," you continued more quietly, walking away from me to the shadows at the edge of the dell. "It's the Shire where you belong, Sam. It's where things are fresh and green and growing, and your family and friends are all about, and there's nothing dark to creep into your room at night."

I knew what you were tryin' to tell me, but it seemed as you were missin' the main point of the matter. I tried to point it out to you. "Aye, the family's back there, but I'm thinking' that one Gamgee bairn more o'less won't be meanin' the end of the Shire. And as for friends, why, the best friend I know is right with me and that'd be you, Mr. Frodo," I added.

You stopped at that. "Do you really mean that?" you asked me softly, not turning around.

Well, if that just wasn't the daftest question. How could you not be knowin' that? "Mr. Frodo," I began, and I couldn't help puttin' my arms across my chest, for all the world like the Gaffer did when he tried to knock some sense into my wooly-pated skull, "ever since I was a wee lad, it was you I could come to wi' my foolish questions, and for all you was a tweenager, you never made me feel like the ninnyhammer I was. And who was it what helped me learn my letters? I tried learnin' them with Mr. Bilbo, but they wouldn't come to me, noways, not until you came t'help. And whenever I plant a patch of the prettiest posies, why it's only you as would rather see them than a lot o'taters and cabbages." You had turned again and I could see you watching me carefully, and the look in your eyes was warm, even if you said naught.

"And Mr. Frodo," I added, my heart beginnin' to rise at the sight, "you're the only one as I've ever said my bit of poems to."

You made a sort of choked sound at that, and turned back away from me again. I went on, and I've never asked you for more than I did right then. "Do you want me to stay with you, Mr. Frodo?"

I couldn't help holding my breath right then and the only sounds I heard was the winds high up in the pines and Bill munching on his apple. And then, softly, so softly I almost thought for a minute as I had just hoped it, I heard you answer, "Yes."

Well. That was that and all I needed and more. I tried to stay business-like about the matter, as I knew you were still that upset. "That was the right choice, Mr. Frodo, and no mistake about it, if I may be so bold," I told your back.

You faced me again at that with a smile, and if your eyes were mayhap a little too bright, I wasn't going to call attention to the matter, noways. "Well, that's settled that," I reached in the basket that Bill had carried up, and brought out our food for elevensies. "And now, Mr. Frodo, you need to build up your strength again, no mistake about it. I can go without food for a couple o'days, with naught to notice, but it surely ain't the same for you."

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

From then on, it was no questions asked. I was coming with you and no-one could say me nay. Of course, Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin were bound to come too, but I'm thinking' neither one of that pair thought to ask you first. Mebbe Mr. Elrond and Mr. Gandalf figured that if they was in for two hobbits, there may as well be four. I reckon they didn't calculate on the amounts of provisions that was goin' to require. (How those Big People can keep goin' on on such short rations, I'll never know.) It seemed like no time at all before we was walkin' over that bridge on our way out of Rivendell.

 

I never told you, but I did have a word with Mr. Bilbo before we left. You and he had been cozied over that book of his in Mr. Bilbo's room, and as I was sittin' there watchin' the pair of you, I just couldn't help remembering old times at home in the Shire. As you were leaving, I held back for a word with Mr. Bilbo. I knew full well it weren't my place, noways, but I just had to ask.

"Mr. Bilbo, sir," I started, and then felt my mouth get all clumsy and bothered.

"Aye, lad," he stared back at me , and I felt like I used to when I had to tell him that where he'd wanted them taters planted was naught goin' to be gettin' enow sun.

"Why did you leave Mr. Frodo so sudden-like?" I finally whispered, and had to stare at my feet. "He was right lonesome by hisself."

Mr. Bilbo gave a little chuckle at that, and I had the courage then to look back up at him. "Why, Sam-lad," he spoke up lightly, "I never left him alone, now, did I?"

He knew I still didn't understand at that, so he went on with a smile, "I left him with you. And I could never think of better hands in which to leave the hobbit I love most in all the world."

Didn't my face burst all red at that! He was still chuckling when he closed his door, and I scurried down the hall after you, but my heart was fair light that night.


	3. Planting Hope

I never thought I could miss him so, but I surely did. For all he was a dumb animal, he'd been comfort to me when times had been mighty hard. And now I had to let him go, set about as we were with all manner of great beasts and snakes, and I never even got t'give him the comfort of an apple before he went. And even then, as we walked those dank tunnels, a'steppin' on dwarf bones and Lady knows what else, I still couldn't but think o'him. I'm still thinkin' of you, Bill, and I'll be lookin' for you, whenever we get ourselves back to Rivendell, no mistake.

But I shouldn't have been a-thinkin' of Bill at a time like that, for there was a worse worry on my mind, and that was you, Mr. Frodo. I couldn't hear you ahead of me, and I couldn't see but the shape of you in front of me in that fearsome dark. The footing was that treacherous, trying to climb those crumbling stone steps as were meant for dwarf legs, and there was dark holes all about. I tried to stay close by, but you weren't payin' no mind to me, movin' as if in a dream. And I knew why.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

Not in the worst of my nightmares did I ever see the like of that thing in the pool outside. Quick as breath it grabbed you, and started pulling you under. But this time, leastways, I was ready. There had been something about that dark water that I hadn't liked, no not at all, and Bill wouldn't go near it noways. That pony had a lot of sense, he did, and Bill's opinion was good enough for me.

When Mr. Pippin went skippin' those stones across it, as if it were no more than Bywater Pond by night, that seemed like pure trouble. But you can never tell a Took naught, so I just kept a sharp look-out. And I knew, sure as anything, if there was danger in that pond, it'd be makin' straightways for you.

I guess that's why I had my knife out as soon as it touched you, and for a bit there, it seemed like the whole lot of them as were watchin', were as still as stones. But then Mr. Boromir and Strider, they jumped in too, and we got you away from it. Not before it tried to swallow you alive though. And you didn't say naught after we went inside and those great doors crashed around us.

And that was what as had me worried plenty. Mr. Merry now, or Mr. Pippin, wouldn't they have been kickin' up a fuss, if it had been them. But you just went along, as if it was the kind of thing you expected now, and that was what as had me right worried.

Ahead of us was the glow from Gandalf's staff, and that's all we had for a bit of light, and that would have suited me fine, for surely there was naught about to bear lookin' at for long, if I could only have caught a good look at you first.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

Mr. Gandalf finally let us have a halt for the night, though I guess there isn't rightly no night or day inside this dark hole. Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin were that tired they just dropped themselves like the sacks in Ted Sandyman's mill, near the doorway of the little room that Mr. Gandalf found for us. I didn't think to fix them a bite to eat at first, as I was keepin' a close eye on you, Mr. Frodo. You were sittin' towards a back corner of the room with arms around your knees and your face hidden, but I wagered you weren't sleepin', noways. Well, it didn't hurt to make a bite for those as needed it, even though I knew it'd be a job to get you to eat anything, Mr. Frodo.

Soon, Mr. Gandalf dimmed the light, and Boromir and Strider took up the first watch in the doorway of our room. Mr. Gandalf seemed to be keepin' the peace between the Elf and the Dwarf about the state of the front of this place, but at least they were tryin' to keep it down. I could see Mr. Merry and Mr. Pippin, now one sack instead of two, snoring lightly together. That pair was going to be right hungry in the morning, they didn't hardly stay awake to eat a bite. But it was you as concerned me right then, Mr. Frodo.

And when I drew near to you, to try to get you to eat, I could feel that you were a-tremblin'. You still wouldn't lift your head, no, not even when I touched your shoulder and whispered your name. So I did what I could.

I sat down next to you and, leaning back against the wall myself, let my side rest against you, just so's you'd know I was there in all this gloominess. There we sat for a bit. You were still shakin' and I, I couldn't think of anything as would help you any. The Elf and Dwarf had finished their argument seemingly, at least for the night, though I doubted that we had heard the end o'that. Gandalf dimmed the light even further, and all was dark around us.

Then I heard your whisper, so quiet that I thought I had only imagined it at first. "Sam," you breathed in a unsteady voice, "talk to me, Sam."

Now I knew you didn't want to be talkin' about what had happened, and I knew I never had the right words to cheer you, but then I felt the apple in my pocket that had rightly belonged to Bill, and the words just popped out o'my mouth. "I've been thinkin' about the orchard, Mr. Frodo," I heard myself say.

What in the name of all the stars ever put that in my head, I'll never know, but you jumped onto that, Mr. Frodo, as if you'd been waitin' all day especially to chat about that with me. "The orchard, Sam?" you asked, your voice already startin' to steady a bit. "Tell me about it."

"Well now, it's that back row," I explained, still feelin' foolish, but hearin' your breathing start to calm, "that row o'Winesaps. They've been there awhile, they have, and there ain't so many apples from them nowadays."

"Do you think they should be replaced, then?" you asked as if that was the most important matter as had been put to you in many a day.

"I hear tell that those golden apples, they're mighty good for tarts and such," I explained. "And since they take five years or so to be fruiting, mayhap we should be startin' to replace those old ones with new."

"That sounds like a good plan, Sam," you said consideringly. You were beginning to lean against me now and I felt the tremblin' was nearly gone.

"That apple wood makes fine kindling, too, and it was shapin' up to be a right chilly winter when we left," I added. And then I could have clouted myself for the greatest ninnyhammer as ever was. Hadn't you just gone and sold Bag End to Lobelia and her lot afore we left? But if you weren't going to mention it, no more was I.

"You're right," you answered slowly, and then I felt you sag against me, your breathing now steady and calm. You were finally asleep. I carefully laid my cloak over the both of us, and fell asleep too.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

I suppose it was day, or as much as it ever is day in these parts, when Mr. Gandalf touched my shoulder to wake me. I could feel you lyin' heavy against my side and that arm was right numb, too, but when I looked over to you in the light of Gandalf's torch, your face was that peaceful, I just wished you could sleep a bit more. But Gandalf shook his head, although with a kindly look on his face, as if he knew what I was a'thinkin'. "We must get further away from the doors as quickly as we can, Sam," he explained in a sympathetic sort of way, "and there are many days of travel still ahead in Moria."

Well, the part about gettin' as far away from those doors, and what was outside them, sounded about right to me, though I didn't much like the sound of the rest of it. So I carefully brushed your cheek with my free hand and tried to sound as if we were back in Bag End, and I was rousin' you for a late breakfast. "Not much sun this morning, Mr. Frodo, but I'm afraid it'll have to do."

You woke slowly, with a yawn, and still lay against me for a minute or two more, not that I minded. Then you gave a sudden start and sat straight up, and even in the gloom I could see you look about as if you didn't recollect where we were. But then your shoulders slumped and your head bowed down, and I knew you had remembered it all.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

It was a long and wearisome road we walked that day. There were great holes on either side of the way, and more than once I felt my heart drop as Mr. Pippin would lose his footing on a bit of loose rock and go sliding toward the edge. Mr. Merry and I would grab him to hold him back, but that Took would just keep watching each bit of rock fall as if he was that interested to see how long it would take them to hit bottom. I never did hear them hit.

The Elf and Dwarf were ahead of us, not talkin' much. At first, the Elf was lookin' about him as if he hadn't heard much good about this place but it was even worse than he had thought. But after a bit, I think he started to feel somewhat sorry for the Dwarf, who was walkin' besides him with his head down. This was supposed to be the great hall of his folk, but it was clear now that it was naught but wreck, and there was no sign of his folk noways. Not alive, at any rate. So the Elf kept his remarks to himself, and walked close by, for company's sake.

Mr. Pippin and the Elf took the first watch that night, and I could hear that Tookborough lilt askin' questions and makin' remarks w'nary a breath between. The Elf is certainly a patient sort, I'll give him that. The rest of us were spread out on a flat edge that Mr. Gandalf had found, back aways from the stairs, and I noticed how he made sure you were away to the back of it. Whatever creature was a'lurkin' in these foul holes was going to have to get through the rest of us first.

At least you took a bite to eat that night, and after I had packed up the cooking gear, and sat down besides you, you gave a sigh, and settled right next to me. "I miss the stars, Sam," you said quietly in the dark.

"Don't I too, Mr. Frodo," I whispered back, knowing suddenly how true that was. "But they don't look nowheres as pretty as they do over Bag End."

"I can just see them on a summer's eve." Your voice was still so soft, but a little dreamy now, it seemed to me. "Filling the sky. And if you're lying on the grass, some nights, it just seems like they're sparkling down on you."

"Aye." I could see them now likewise, and me just a'lyin' there too, the grass still all warm. "Just like one of Mr. Gandalf's special fireworks shows. But they're there every night, whether you look for them or no."

"You always do look for them, don't you, Sam?" and your voice was gettin' right sleepy now.

"Well, I can't deny as I've always had an eye for pretty things," I couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Whether they be flowers or stars."

"Mmmm," you answered me back, and I knew I'd put a smile on your face as you nestled down against me. Both of us were asleep in no time that night.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

It had been once again a long and toilsome walk when we at last settled ourselves down that next night. You had seemed uneasy all day, and kept lookin' about you, as if you were seein' something the rest of us weren't. I noticed you made for Mr. Gandalf as soon as we had had our bit of a meal, and the both of you had a long quiet chat. Tired as I was, and surely you as well, you seemed no more in the mood for sleep as was I, when you came to seek me out for the night.

Seein' in the faint bit o'light as how the old wizard was smoking his pipe, I figured we could do likewise, and took them out from our packs. "Smoke, Mr. Frodo?" I offered, and it felt good to see your smile at that.

"That would be lovely, Sam," you said softly, and we settled down in a out-of-the-way corner to let our hearts be eased a bit by the scent of the Shire.

You were resting against me, the both of us fitting together in a way that had gotten to feel right comfortable in these hard and lonely places, when you suddenly asked me, "Could I ever have said no, Sam? Could I have said no to Gandalf back in Bag End? Or to Elrond in Rivendell? Or has this journey always been waiting to happen to me, all my life? After all, Bilbo picked It up before I was born. Was it always me that he was supposed to leave It to?"

You stopped at that, leaning more heavily against my shoulder, and I could feel you at my side, as tense and coiled as a young sapling bein' held to the ground. Well, of course, I surely didn't have the answers to that riddle, but you knew that as well as I, so I smoked a while longer and thought about it.

"Well, Mr. Frodo," I said after a bit, "I don't know much about the whys and the maybe should have beens of it all. But I've never seen you back down when you think it's something as you ought to do, no matter how dirty the job, be it puttin' Ted Sandyman in his place or facing up to that Lobelia Sackville-Baggins when she gets her vane in a top-wind."

You laughed a bit at that, albeit a little shakily. "I suspect the worst terrors of the Shire will appear a trifle mild, if we ever get back."

"Well, and why wouldn't we?" I couldn't help but huff a bit at the thought. "What with all these great Men, and an Elf and a Dwarf, as well as a Wizard to top it off, how could we not help but do what we mean to do?"

"I note that you did not mention my cousins." I could hear the smile in your voice.

"Aye, that I did not." And you definitely laughed at that.

"Ah, my dear Sam, I'd be lost without you," you said softly as you put out your pipe and settled yourself down against my side. And the draught didn't seem nearly as chill that night.

&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;&amp;

 

The second watch that night was Gimli's, along with Mr. Boromir, but the Wizard took the Man's place, and motioned me out, instead of the Dwarf, into the great hallway. It was a cold and bitter night, and I missed the warmth of you next to me something fierce, but it don't do to question a wizard. "So, Sam," he said at last, once we'd settled down and I had wrapped my cloak and blanket around myself as tight as might be against the coldness of that grim hall. "For all that you were so fond of Bilbo's tales, I suspect the great world has been more than you thought it to be."

Well, I certainly couldn't help agreeing to that. "More fair and foul than I ever knew," I granted him. "And the fair as perilous as the rest."

The wizard softly grunted in an approving sort of way, and pulled his pipe out from under his robes. "I suppose I need not ask you if you mean to remain with Frodo," he mentioned as he carefully tamped the pipe in the dim light of his staff.

A fool question, of course, but I did not mention that to him. "Aye, there ought to be a bit I can do to help out in this great Company," I informed him. "I'd not be turning back now, unless it be at his side."

"And do you think he would, Sam?" the wizard's gaze was suddenly on me, forceful from under those great eyebrows of his.

"Not Mr. Frodo," I answered him back as confident as you please. "Not when there's a job to be done first."

"No, I suppose not," he answered back softly and, it seemed to me, sadly as well. "Somehow it has come to be the task of your people, and no hobbit is better suited to it than Frodo." He stared quietly at his pipe for a few minutes, and then, as if coming to a decision, added, "The Ring will change him, Sam."

I stared at him foolishly, not understanding. "Change Mr. Frodo? But how?" I asked.

"I cannot tell you," he replied, still staring at his pipe as if all the answers lay in the smoke that came from it. "But no-one holds onto the Ring without change. Our greatest hope is that hobbits, and Frodo in particular, can resist that change longer than other folk. But change he must." He lay silent as I tried to understand what he was telling me. Then he added, still staring at that pipe, "That's when he'll need you the most, Sam. And no one but you."

And then he fell silent, with nary a word more, and I didn't dare ask naught. All the rest of that watch, long into the night, I tried to puzzle that one through. And by the time I returned to your side, I think I worked out what he meant.

You see, Mr. Frodo, there's many who can protect you better than I. Those great Men can wield a sword in battle that I can scarcely pick up. And the Elf with his bow, and the Dwarf with his ax, why, they're marvels indeed to watch. And your cousins, well, no hobbit need lack for talk and companionship when they're around, and I do know they love you truly. And if counsel and guidance are needed, well, there is the great wizard himself right at hand.

So what can I do for you, Mr. Frodo? I think now I know. Those others, Mr. Frodo, they'll see as you get the job done. But for me, Frodo me dear, I'll bring you home. I swear I'll bring you home.


End file.
